Ch. 15/38
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Chapter 15 of 38

Chapter XI —

2,483 words · 11 min read

MORE HELP FROM MR. KEEFER—OFF TO SEE MY GIRL—EMBARKED IN THE
AGRICULTURAL-IMPLEMENT BUSINESS WITHOUT CAPITAL—MARRIED—SOLD OUT—IN
THE GROCERY BUSINESS—COLLAPSED—RUNNING A BILLIARD HALL—COLLAPSED
AGAIN—NEWSPAPER REPORTER FOR A MYSTERIOUS MURDER.

The next day I called Mr. Keefer to one side, informed him—on the
quiet—about my shortage of seventy-five dollars and suggested going to
the bank and borrowing about a hundred dollars, as it would be necessary
for me to have a few dollars to “sort of bridge me over” till I could
get on my feet again. He said he guessed that would be all right, so we
borrowed the money.

The next day I received a very affectionate letter from my girl and
started forthwith for Michigan, arriving there in time to escort her to
the last and grandest ball of the season, at an expense of more than
half the amount of my last loan.

[Pg 137]

I was very anxious to get married at once, but being a little short
financially, concluded to postpone it a few days at least. A couple of
days later I received a letter from my uncle, A. S. Johnston, who was
then living at Three Rivers, Michigan, and who had previously started me
in the fruit business in Chicago. He informed me that he was general
agent in Southern Michigan for C. H. & L. J. McCormick’s reapers and
mowers, and if I would come there he would make me their local agent at
that place.

Bidding my girl an affectionate farewell I departed, and arrived at my
uncle’s with forty cents in cash and six dirty shirts.

On my way there I fell in company with two gentlemen traveling together,
one of whom was selling horse-rakes and the other threshing-machines.

I explained to them that I was on my way to Three Rivers, where I
expected to become an agent for my uncle. They then remembered having
met him somewhere on the road, and one of them suggested that I might
also be able to sell horse-rakes and threshing-machines. I told them I
had thought some of putting in a few later on. They then became anxious
to have me take the agency for their implements, but as I[Pg 138] had in my
mind the goods of other manufacturers which I believed had a better
reputation, I hesitated about handling theirs.

They became very much interested and urged me to let them send on
consignment a car-load of horse-rakes and four threshing-machines. I
finally consented on condition that they prepay the freight, which they
agreed to do.

I informed my uncle of my intentions of starting in the
agricultural-implement business. He asked how I expected to do so on
forty cents capital.

I answered that all I needed was a sign over some good shed, and a
boarding house where they would be willing to wait till after harvest
for their pay.

Sign-painting had been his trade, so he said he would furnish the sign,
and I could live with them until I got returns.

That afternoon I arranged to have the use of a vacant lot which was in a
good locality, and as soon as possible erected a sign as large as the
broad-side of a barn, which read as follows:

“J. P. JOHNSTON, DEALER IN ALL
KINDS OF AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS.
C. H. & L. J. McCORMICK’S
REAPERS AND MOWERS FOR SALE.”

[Pg 139]

In less than two months I had several thousand dollars’ worth of all
kinds of implements, which had been consigned to me, freight prepaid.

I very soon made the acquaintance of a young man who owned a good horse,
which he kindly offered to loan me to canvass the farmers with. I then
began looking about to find some one who would loan me a harness and
carriage, when my attention was called to the advertisement of a lot of
carriages to be sold at auction that very day. I called on the owner and
told him I needed a carriage, and asked what the terms of the sale would
be.

He said a note payable in one year, would be acceptable from responsible
parties, and then asked my name. I said: “I am J. P. Johnston, the
agricultural man.”

“What! the man with the big sign across the street?”

I replied: “The same.”

“O, well,” he said, “your note is good.”

I bid in a fine carriage, giving my note, which, by the way, was paid in
less than six months. I then borrowed a harness and began a general raid
on the farmers, and succeeded fairly well.

[Pg 140]

The only unpleasantness I experienced in the sale of implements was
that of a check-row corn-planter, which was new to the farmers in that
section as well as to myself. I, of course, assumed to know all about
it, when in fact, I was unable to in the least comprehend the method of
operating it, even after studying the directions carefully, and
committing them to memory so as to give a glowing description of it and
its great advantages.

One day a farmer came driving up to my “office” in a great hurry and
informed me of his intention to buy a corn-planter, and stated that he
had a piece of ground all prepared, and asked me to go and show him “how
the thing worked.” Of course there was nothing else for me to do but to
go. So we loaded one on to the wagon and started.

A DUSTY JOB A SURE SALE

A DUSTY JOB A SURE SALE

Arriving at the farm we hitched one of the old mares on and started for
the field, when I very soon learned that the farmer had a much better
idea of the “machine” than I did. But in order to make him conscious of
my importance it was necessary for me to oppose him in many things, some
of which were no doubt injurious to the job.

AS YE SOW SO SHALL YE REAP

“AS YE SOW SO SHALL YE REAP.”—PAGE 140

[Pg 143]

After he had set the stakes and drawn the line across the field, we
were ready for a start. I was to hold the “machine,” and he to drive the
horse. As we were about to start he suggested that I had better take off
my coat, vest, boots and stockings, and roll up my pants. I did so.

The wisdom of this move will be seen later. The old mare started on a
gait equal to that of the “deaf drover” over the rough roads. I held
tight to the handles, making lofty jumps from one step to another,
sinking into the plowed ground almost to my knees each time. Before we
were half through the field I was in a profuse perspiration, and had
succeeded in knocking one of my great toe-nails entirely off, which
afterwards laid me up for two weeks. When we reached the other end he
looked solemnly at me and said: “By gosh! you can run like a racehorse
can’t you?”

“Yes,” I replied, almost out of breath, “and you are no slouch
yourself.”

I then took a comfortable seat on a fence-rail and asked him if that was
the fastest horse he owned. He answered: “No, by gosh, I own one that
can out-trot this one.”

“Yes,” I said, “but trotters won’t do here. We must have a running horse
to do this right.”

[Pg 144]

After skimming over a couple of acres which took but a few minutes, we
concluded to make an investigation to see how evenly the kernels were
being distributed.

Although it seemed to us that we were using up a large quantity of corn
we found but few hills containing more than the average number of
kernels.

Of course we only examined along the line opposite each check, having no
thought of finding any corn between them.

I then suggested that he finish it alone, as I must return to town to
attend to important business.

This he agreed to and I left at once. In about ten days he drove up in
front of the office and beckoned me out, when he said:

“Get in here young man, I want to show you something.”

I climbed in the wagon and he started for home.

On the way he asked me how long I had been in that business, adding that
he “didn’t suppose I had ever worked in a shop where they made
corn-planters.”

I assured him that my time had always been too valuable for that.

[Pg 145]

He said he “supposed so.”

When we arrived at the corn-field he drew a long breath and said:

“Now sir, you have done a deal of blowing about your old check-row
corn-planters. As you see, this corn is high enough to judge, and if you
can find a single row in this whole field, I’ll buy you out.”

I admitted that there were no rows, and said to him in a confidential
way: “My dear sir, I supposed you understood that this machine was
intended to sow broadcast.”

“Broadcast the d——l!” he replied, and flew into a rage, declaring he
would sue me for damages. I then said to him as I motioned towards the
house: “Come inside, I want to show you something.”

He followed me in, and I took an old slipper and a woolen sock off my
foot, and without unwrapping the toe, said, pointing to it: “Sir, if I
have that toe taken off, I shall be obliged to compel you to pay for
it.”

His wife, a silly-looking mortal, stared vacantly for a moment and then
said: “I can’t see what use he would have for the toe, if you did have
it taken off.”

[Pg 146]

We then compromised, he agreeing to stand the results of the corn crop,
and I the consequences of the sore toe. As soon as a new nail grew out,
I made a trip through the country, and brought up one Saturday evening
at Bronson, where “my girl” lived.

I couldn’t give up the idea of getting married, and as my prospective
mother-in-law quite agreed with me that it would be the best thing to
do, we lost no time in arranging matters. The marriage took place the
following week, and I immediately returned to Three Rivers with my
bride.

We remained but a short time, until my uncle expressed a desire to
become interested in the business. I then turned it all over to him, as
I felt it was too slow to suit me. I had been there six months, and left
with about that many hundred dollars.

We proceeded to Ohio, and explained to my folks “just how it all
happened.” My mother said “she couldn’t see how I had managed to live so
long without a wife.” Mr. Keefer said “he’d bet it was the best thing
that ever happened to me.”

My mother wanted to know what next, and how I expected to support a wife
and pay my[Pg 147] debts, when I had never yet shown enough ability to support
myself?

I frankly confessed that during my courtship I absolutely forgot that I
owed any one, and that it seemed to have been a secondary consideration
with me.

However, I called on all my creditors, and, after showing them a nice
roll of money as evidence that I had been “hus’ling,” I received their
sanction to my investing the money in jewelry, and going on the road as
a wholesaler. I then opened correspondence with a firm in Chicago who
had been recommended to me as headquarters on jewelry, arranging to call
on them in a few days. They informed me that five hundred dollars would
buy a fair stock, to start with.

We returned to the home of my wife’s parents; and the day before I was
to start for Chicago, her father, who was engaged in the grocery
business, called me one side and explained that he had become involved,
and that the money I had would bridge him over; and if I would put it in
his business and help him run it he would give me half the profits and
board myself and wife.

This I consented to do, and had no sooner settled down to business than
his creditors began[Pg 148] crowding him, and in a very short time the business
“collapsed.” The only thing I had from the wreck was an old
billiard-table which he turned over to me. As I had had quite a sad
experience in the billiard business only a year before, I now thought I
saw my only chance to get even. I therefore rented a room and opened a
billiard hall.

This was a regular bonanza, for about three weeks. Indeed, too much so,
for then, to my regret, the “City dads” passed an ordinance prohibiting
the running of billiard rooms. As I had commenced housekeeping about the
time I opened the billiard room, and had gone in debt for my furniture,
I found myself in a sad plight. The sale of the outfit enabled me to pay
but a small portion of my indebtedness.

I was now stranded, and ready for something else, but was completely
non-plussed to know what to do next. Of course I realized by this time
that I had a wife, and a “mother-in-law,” and it began to look as though
there must be some genuine “hus’ling” done.

About this time the whole country thereabouts was thrown into the
wildest excitement over the supposed mysterious murder of Almeda Davis,
for[Pg 149] which a young man named Bunnell was arrested, tried and acquitted.
Deputy-sheriff Dennis, who made the arrest, came to me the next day
after the young lady’s death, and asked me to write it up for some of
the leading City Dailies. I agreed to do so, and to always give him a
good “send off,” if he would furnish me with the minutest facts during
the whole case. He did so, and I guess would be surprised to learn that
I made more money out of that trial than he did, if it was a new
business to me. But it made us a comfortable living until about the
middle of winter, when I decided to move back to Ohio. Before arranging
to leave, I called on my creditors at Bronson—there were five of
them—and explained my position. They each agreed that I could do
nothing there, and might better make a change, and that they would
gladly wait till I could make a raise before asking or expecting me to
pay.

We then proceeded to Ohio, arriving home “broke,” where I explained to
my folks “just how it all happened.”

My mother said she thought I had done splendidly “for a married man.”

Mr. Keefer said “It did beat the d——l!”


[Pg 150]

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