Chapter XXV —
CONTINUE TO SELL FOR MERCHANTS—WELL PREPARED FOR WINTER—TRADING A
SHOT-GUN FOR A HORSE AND WAGON—AUCTIONEERING FOR MYSELF—MR. KEEFER
NEEDING HELP—HOW I RESPONDED—TURNING MY HORSE OUT TO PASTURE—ENGAGED
TO SELL ON COMMISSION—HOW I SUCCEEDED—OUT OF A JOB—BUSTED—HOW I MADE
A RAISE—A RETURN TO THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE—PEDDLING WITH A HORSE AND
WAGON—MEETING AN OLD FRIEND—MISERY LIKES COMPANY—WE HUS’LE
TOGETHER—PERFORMING A SURGICAL OPERATION—A PUGILISTIC ENCOUNTER—OUR
WILD-WEST STORIES—BROKE AGAIN—A HARD CUSTOMER—ANOTHER RAISE.
I kept up my plan of engaging with merchants to sell out their
accumulated hard stocks, and never lost an opportunity to put in my
spare time selling polish. I was determined that old Jack Frost should
not catch me again with my summer clothes on and no coal in the bin; and
when winter came, my family and myself were[Pg 444] well provided for. We had
plenty of coal and wood, a cellar well filled with all kinds of winter
vegetables, a half barrel of corned beef, a barrel of flour, a tub of
butter, and I was still “hus’ling.” Snow storms could not be severe
enough to keep me from peddling; and although I called on many ladies
who plainly showed their disgust at me for tracking the snow over their
carpets, I knew I was working for a good cause, and that they had only
to see to be convinced.
I was obliged to spend considerable money for additional furniture for
housekeeping and the general comforts of life; and when spring came
again I was a little short financially, but determined, now that my
family were comfortably situated, to make an earnest effort to procure a
stock of auction goods for myself.
One day while canvassing with the polish, a young man wanted to trade
for the recipe so he could travel with it. I soon struck a deal with him
and received seventeen dollars in cash and an old shot-gun. I laid the
money away carefully, thinking I would try and sell the gun and have
that much towards a stock of goods. I did not succeed, however, in
making this sale, and so took it home with me.
One day as I was walking down town I met two men leading a poor, old,
bony horse out of town and carrying a gun.
I learned from their conversation that they were going to kill the old
nag. I asked the reason and they said he was so old he couldn’t eat and
was starving to death. I examined his mouth and found his front teeth
were so very long that when the mouth was closed there was a
considerable space between the back teeth, which of course, would
prevent him from grinding the feed.
I inquired of the owner if he also owned a wagon or harness. He said he
did. I next asked what he would take for the whole rig, horse, harness
and wagon.
He wanted twenty-five dollars. I told him about my shot-gun and offered
to trade with him. He accompanied me to my house and I very quickly
closed a trade, receiving the whole outfit for the gun.
MY FIRST SALE AS PROPRIETOR AND AUCTIONEER AT REPUBLIC, OHIO.—PAGE 445
I was not long in filing the old horse’s front teeth down, by which he
was enabled to eat, much to his satisfaction and to my gain.
I then ordered seventeen dollars’ worth of notions, bought an old second
hand trunk, had a couple of tin lamps made to use for street
[Pg 446]illumination, and started on my first trip as proprietor and
auctioneer.
The old horse I think meant all right enough, that is if he meant any
thing at all, but he wasn’t much good. He couldn’t have been built right
in the first place, for though he could eat more than three ordinary
horses and seemed willing enough to make a good showing, yet I was
always obliged to get out and push whenever we came to the least
incline; and at the slightest noise sounding like the word “whoa” he
would stop instantly. But with him, stopping was one thing and starting
another.
I made a practice of commencing early in the morning and selling polish
among the farmers during the day-time, and driving into some country
town just at night-fall and making an auction sale on the street by
torch light.
I had small packages of notions sent on ahead C.O.D. from the wholesale
house with which I was dealing. In this way I was able to carry on quite
a business.
I bantered every one I met to trade horses, but no one seemed to take a
particular fancy to my animal.
I kept up this system of auctioneering and [Pg 449]selling polish till into
the summer, and had succeeded in getting a trunk full of goods, and
began to feel that I was in a fair way to make money rapidly.
One day I received a letter from Mr. Keefer saying he must have help
from some source. His note was coming due at the bank besides other
obligations which he must meet, and if it were possible for me to assist
him in any way he wished I would do so.
This was the first time he had ever asked me for assistance, and not
once could I remember that he had ever refused me aid when I asked it of
him.
It was not necessary for him to make any explanations to convince me
that he really needed help, for the many times he had so generously
handed out to me was sufficient proof that he would more willingly give
to, than take from me. Consequently I was not long in deciding to close
out my goods at once and send him the proceeds.
The next morning after making my evening sale I sent him what money I
had, with a promise of more as soon as I could sell out. I made two more
sales before I was able to close out the last of my stock, and sent him
the money.
The next town I stopped at was Bodkins; and[Pg 450] the landlord of the hotel,
Mr. Lehman, informed me that his father, living in another town, owned a
large stock of general merchandise, and wanted to sell it out; and asked
what I thought about selling it at auction. I explained it would be the
proper caper. He telegraphed for his father, who came up, and they
wanted to hire me by the day or week.
I told them it was against my principles to work on salary, but I would
take ten per cent. and all my expenses. This they agreed on. After
turning the old horse out to pasture, we started for the old gentleman’s
home, and began making arrangements for an auction sale there,
preparatory to starting out on the road.
We advertised extensively; and as the stock consisted of almost
everything, including a lot of ready-made clothing, we drew an immense
crowd, and made a sale of over twelve hundred dollars on Saturday
afternoon and evening.
I remember when Sunday morning came I was unable to above a whisper; but
I had one hundred and twenty dollars in cash as my commission, ready to
send to Mr. Keefer on Monday morning.
We moved the balance of the stock to another[Pg 451] town, where our sales ran
from one to three hundred dollars per day. I had a settlement every
night, as soon as the receipts were counted, and on the following
morning sent the money to Mr. Keefer, reserving only enough to pay my
family expenses, which I practiced sending home every Friday.
We succeeded in closing out the bulk of this large stock of goods, when
one day, at St. Mary’s, Ohio, after I had sent my last dollar to Mr.
Keefer, the proprietor made a trade with a real-estate agent, receiving
a farm for the remainder of the stock. I was notified that my services
were no longer required. My board was paid up to the following day, but
I hadn’t a dollar to my name.
Of course, the first thing that entered my mind was the
“Incomprehensible” and the only thing needed was a dollar or two with
which to invest in a few bottles.
That day at noon, when I came out of the dining-room from dinner, my
light-colored Derby hat was missing; and as another one was there which
resembled mine very closely, and fitted me exactly, I put it on, keeping
a look-out for the wearer of my own. As it had a large grease-spot on
one side, from the dripping of oil from my street lamps I knew I could
tell it easily.
Directly in came a drummer for a grocery house, and began telling how
much his sales had been in that town: To one grocer a car-load each of
rice, nutmegs, cinnamon and pepper, besides several hundred barrels of
flour and as many chests of tea. I told him I didn’t doubt his word, but
would thank him to give me back my hat. He discovered his mistake, and
was about to trade back, when I happened to think of what a splendid
chance I had for making a little raise. As he handed me my hat I said:
“Thunderation! Do you suppose I am going to let you give me back my hat
with that big grease-spot on it? Not much, sir. Have you been down in
some grocer’s cellar with my hat on? Now, sir, you can either give me
five dollars to buy a new hat, or give me one dollar and we’ll trade
hats.”
He willingly handed over the dollar, and after apologizing, offered to
treat in order to quiet me down.
I then made a bee-line for the nearest drugstore, where I ordered a half
gallon of the “Incomprehensible” to be prepared for the next day.
The old valise I had was a large-sized one, in which I carried my
clothing; but I made room[Pg 453] for the polish, and started out the next day
on foot, arriving at a small town late that night, with four dollars in
cash, and some stock on hand.
The following morning I started back to where I had left the old horse
and wagon. Arriving there, I hitched up and started through the country,
selling polish to the farmers. It took about all I could rake and scrape
to keep my family, myself and the old horse eating.
While on this trip as I was passing through Wapakanetta, Ohio, a
familiar voice came from a crowd of lookers-on saying:
“Halloo, Johnston, where you going?”
And an old acquaintance of mine came running to the wagon and hastily
explained that he had the agency of a valuable patent which he was then
trying to sell County and State rights in and wanted me to join him. I
told him that I had promised my mother never to sell another Patent
right, and then asked what success he had met with. He said not any yet,
but——
“But,” I interrupted, “I suppose you have succeeded in spending what
money you had, and are now broke.”
“Yes, that’s it exactly.”
“Well, Frank, misery likes company. Get in here and we’ll travel
together.”
He did so and we had quite a siege of it. We bought another valise and I
immediately began educating him in selling polish. He made a very fair
salesman and as I was to furnish him with the polish at a stipulated
sum, I felt that I could very soon be deriving an income from his
services. My idea was to keep him with me till he could get acquainted
with the business and then arrange with some drug house to ship him what
he wanted and pay me my profits.
A SUCCESSFUL SURGICAL OPERATION.—PAGE 454
Our third day out we drove into a small hamlet, and after hitching the
old nag to a post began operations. I called at a house where there was
considerable excitement and learned that an old lady had fallen down
stairs and either broken or badly sprained her ankle. The principal
cause for excitement was the fact that no Doctor could be found. As I
passed from the house I saw Frank crossing the street a block or two
away and called to him. He came right up and I explained to him the
critical condition of the old lady and suggested that he should go in
and play surgeon as they were unable to find a doctor at home. He
consented and we went in [Pg 457]together. Frank looked wise, and I did the
talking. Finally one of the women in attendance beckoned us to the
bedside. Frank made a hasty examination, and with my assistance helped
her to a chair and began pulling the victim around the room by her
crippled leg. She yelled and kept yelling, we pulled and kept pulling,
her son swore and kept swearing, while the dog barked and kept barking.
Everything was in a hubbub and every one excited. The neighboring women
soon left in disgust. The more we pulled the more excited we all became
and the more assurance Frank seemed to have that pulling was the only
remedy. We were very soon rewarded with success, for a moment later the
joint went back into place, snapping like a pistol, which gave the old
lady immediate relief. Then Frank did look wise and I dubbed him
Doctor Frank at once.
They inquired where he was practicing, and he told them he was a
traveling Doctor. I suddenly spoke up and said:
“Why, ladies, this gentleman graduated at Whiting, Indiana. You’ve all
heard of that place?”
“O, yes, we’ve all read of it,” they answered in chorus.
When asked what his charges would be he glanced at me as if undecided
what to make it. I raised both hands intimating ten dollars as the
proper figure. He said:
“Well, the usual charge for a case of this kind is twenty dollars, but
I’ll charge you only ten.”
They hesitated, and grudgingly paid the price, but were well satisfied
with the operation. We had many a hearty laugh over the ridiculous
manner in which the ten dollars was obtained.
We continued to peddle around over the country, taking in small inland
towns.
The old horse was an elephant on my hands, but he was all I possessed in
the world; and being unable to find a buyer, I could do no better than
to stick by him unless I chose to give him away, which I hardly
considered business-like. But I would have made money and saved trouble
had I done so, for he was the means of getting me into two or three
little fights. One in particular I will relate.
Doctor Frank and myself were driving into New Baltimore one Saturday
evening, and as the old horse went heaving and crippling along we seemed
to be the attraction for every one on the street. Suddenly a young man
who was sitting[Pg 459] out in front of a store on the cross-railing between
two hitching posts cried out at the very top of his voice:
“Whoa!”
The old nag, as usual, came to a sudden halt, and every one of a large
crowd of men standing near by began to laugh.
I realized that if their risibilities were so easily aroused at seeing
him stop, it would be a regular circus for them to see me get him in
motion again; so I coolly handed the lines to Doctor Frank, and said:
“Here, hold these, and I’ll make believe I have business in that store;
and after this crowd has dispersed, I’ll come out and we’ll try and make
another start.”
I climbed out and walked toward the store. As I got even with the young
chap who had stopped us, and noticed him still sitting there, with his
feet swinging backward and forward and a look of triumph on his face, I
suddenly changed my course, and stepping up to him, quickly dealt him a
right-hander straight from the shoulder. He received the blow directly
under the chin, and it set him spinning around the rail like a trapeze
performer on a horizontal bar.[Pg 460] I then returned to the wagon, climbed
in, picked up my club and made preparations for another move.
Before making the start we had the pleasure of witnessing several
revolutions by the young gentleman, after which he was helped to the
ground by some friends; and as we were moving away, under the strong
pressure of my club and the hard pushing of the lines by Doctor Frank,
our smart youth looked more silly and terror-stricken than he did gay
and frisky a few moments before, when the laugh was all on his side.
As we passed along down street everything was as quiet as a funeral; and
although every man may have wanted to laugh, they all looked sober and
sanctimonious, and as we imagined, took extra precautions to look
sorrowful and sympathetic, as we rode along, looking savagely at them,
apparently ready to spring from the wagon and pounce upon them at a
second’s warning.
We then drove to the hotel, where we took quarters.
The next day, Sunday, while we were standing out in front, a man came up
and began interrupting us in our conversation, and became rather abusive
when we asked him to go away and not[Pg 461] interfere with our affairs. He
then said he was a lawyer and a gentleman, if he had been drinking a
little, and he could whip half-a-dozen such men as we were; and so
saying he shook his fist under Doctor Frank’s nose. He soon discovered
his mistake, for no sooner had he done so than he received a straight
left-hander from Frank, right on his big red nose. I shall never forget
his looks, as he began backing up, in a dazed condition, and kept
backing round and round in a circle, with the blood spurting and his
nose flattened all over his face, and finally, not being able to keep on
his feet any longer, landed squarely, in a sitting posture, right in the
middle of a puddle of water that had been made by a severe rain-storm
that morning.
He had no sooner landed in the water, than not less than two dozen men
came running from a saloon across the street; and the leader of the mob,
a man about as large again as either of us, and who, we afterwards
learned, was the pugilist of the town, came rushing up to us and said:
“Any man that will strike a drunken man is a coward.”
From this we inferred that the whole thing was a put-up job, and our
only way out was to assert our rights and fight our way through.
He was coolly informed that we were not looking for fights, but we
never been placed on the list of cowards yet. He said:
“Well, I am here to clean both you fellows out.”
“Very well, I guess you can commence on me,” said Doctor Frank; and they
opened up. The crowd gathered closely around, and I became a little
excited, and fearful lest some one should assist the stranger by kicking
or hitting Frank. While they were scuffling on the ground I stuck close
by them, and realizing that my little escapade of the day before would
have a tendency to give me considerable prestige, I continued to cry
out, at the top of my voice:
“Gentlemen, stand back, stand back; the first man who interferes here
to-day will get knocked out in less than a second, and I’m the boy that
can do it.”
Every one was yelling for the pugilist but myself; and I continued
talking encouragingly to Frank at the very top of my voice:
“Stay by him, Doctor, old boy, stay by him, stay by him, never give up,
stay by him, make him lay still. I can whip any man that dares to
interfere.”
For a few moments when the pugilist was on top of the Doctor it looked
rather dubious, but I knew the sort of stuff Frank was made of and kept
yelling:
“Never quit, Frank, die on the spot. Stay by him.”
A second later the pugilist had not only been turned, but the fight had
also turned, for Frank was on top and it was not long till the pugilist
screamed:
“Take him off, take him off.”
I said to Frank: “Let the poor devil up now, he has enough.”
Frank raised up, looking a little the worse for the battle, but victory
was plainly written in his countenance. When he went into the hotel
office to wash, the landlord informed him that he had whipped the bully
of the town. About this time I felt considerably like having a little
brush myself, with some one, and stepping outside I asked in a loud tone
of voice if there was any one there who was not quite satisfied, and if
there was I would like to try any one of them a round or two just to
accommodate them. No one responded.
During my several years’ experience I had learned to avoid any such
scenes as this one, and[Pg 464] fully realized how easy it was to become
involved in trouble through a fracas. But at this particular time I was
really anxious to show fight and willing to take a whipping if I
couldn’t hold my own. We were not molested in that town again.
I remember that Sunday night the office of the hotel was filled with men
who came in and expressed themselves as in sympathy with us; and I well
remember, too, the number of Wild West stories we related of our
experience on the frontier with wild Indians and Polar bears, and when
we finished relating them, how surprised many seemed to be that they had
all escaped with their lives during the late combat.
I remember one very exciting story I told about an encounter I had with
seven Indians and how I killed five of them and took the other two
prisoners after receiving thirteen wounds, and as evidence of my
assertion took off my coat and vest, and was about to remove my shirt,
to show the scars when Frank and the landlord stopped me and said:
“Never mind, Johnston, you showed us those scars last night, and
remember this is Sunday night and people are passing by going to church[Pg 465]
and will see you; wait till to-morrow night and then show them.”
Of course I took their advice and put my coat and vest on again, and was
amused to hear three or four old I-told-you-so-fellows say: “I knew it,
I knew you fellows were good ones, I knew no common ordinary fellows had
any business with you men.”
Doctor Frank and I were sworn friends from this time on and continued
with the polish for some time.
One day I received a letter from my wife demanding an extra amount of
money from what I had been accustomed to sending her, and I borrowed all
Frank had, and with it sent all I had, leaving us without a cent, but
with plenty of polish. As we had from three o’clock in the afternoon
till sundown to operate, we hadn’t the slightest doubt of being able to
make at least enough sales to procure money sufficient to pay expenses
over night; but in spite of every effort we were unable to even sell a
single bottle, and when darkness came we made arrangements with a farmer
for supper, lodging and breakfast.
In the morning of course the only thing we could do was to trade him
polish and I began[Pg 466] negotiations with him, but in vain. I had polished
up two or three pieces of furniture, but neither himself nor his wife
seemed to care for it at all, and as we could plainly see were bent on
receiving a little pin-money from us. I then polished up another piece
of furniture and kept talking it up, perspiring freely, and noticed
great drops of perspiration standing out on Frank’s forehead. Then I
polished more furniture and gave a more elaborate explanation of the
merits of the polish, Doctor Frank of course putting in a word now and
then. But we had struck a Tartar—in fact, two Tartars. They were as
firm as adamant.
We were at last cornered and looked at each other as though we had an
idea that a private consultation would be the thing to hold about that
time.
I felt that I would rather forfeit the old horse and wagon than
acknowledge that we had no money. I then said:
“Mr. ——, is the gentleman living in the second house south of here a
responsible and enterprising man?”
He answered that he was, and asked why.
“Well I have been thinking of making him a[Pg 467] General Agent in this County
for my polish.”
The lady of the house then said:
“John, why don’t you take the agency? you have always wanted to travel.”
He asked what kind of a show I’d give him.
I told him we charged ten dollars for the General Agency for each county
and we would supply him with the polish, or he could have the recipe for
making it by paying twenty-five dollars. He said he had no money and
there was no use talking.
I asked how much our bill would be for staying over night.
“Two dollars,” was his reply.
“Very well, then, we can fix the money part. Which do you prefer, the
General Agency or the recipe?”
He said he wanted the recipe.
“You can just give us credit then, for the two dollars and pay us fifty
cents in cash and you will owe us twenty-two and one-half dollars which
you can pay after you have made it.”
His wife said that was fair. He said he hadn’t the fifty cents, but they
would give us a chicken for the difference.
As we had been accustomed to trading [Pg 468]anything and everything we
explained that the fowl was right in our line, and immediately closed
the deal and left with it. The reader may be assured that we
congratulated ourselves on our narrow escape. The man still owes the
balance,—in fact I forgot to leave him my address, so he could send it.
We had consumed nearly a half day wrestling with our farmer friend to
effect a deal, and immediately started out with renewed vigor and the
chicken with its legs securely tied and under the wagon seat.
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