Chapter XXXI —

ROBBED OF A TRUNK OF JEWELRY—ONLY A SMALL STOCK LEFT—A TERRIBLE
CALAMITY—COLLAPSED—AN EMPTY SAMPLE-CASE MY SOLE POSSESSION—PEDDLING
POLISH AGAIN—MAKING A RAISE—UNINTENTIONAL GENEROSITY BREAKS ME
UP—MEETING AN OLD PARTNER—THE JOBBER SUPPLIES ME WITH
JEWELRY—HUS’LING AGAIN WITH GREAT SUCCESS—MAKING SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS
IN ONE DAY—MY HEALTH FAILS ME—I RETURN TO OHIO—A PHYSICIAN GIVES ME
BUT TWO YEARS TO LIVE—HOW I FOOLED HIM.

As cold weather was approaching, my wife concluded to return to Chicago,
and I proceeded towards the Northwest. At Duluth I received two large
packages of new goods, which came C.O.D., and which took nearly my last
dollar.

I carried with me a leather trunk in which to keep my reserved stock,
and as I had but a few[Pg 555] moments’ spare time, after receiving the goods
at Duluth, before the train left for Aiken, Minnesota, I put all of my
new goods in the leather trunk, leaving but a small stock in my sample
case. I then checked the trunk to Aiken, where I arrived at one o’clock
in the morning.

From force of habit I had become accustomed to stepping forward towards
the baggage car, whenever I alighted at a depot, to see that my baggage
was taken off; and this time not being an exception, I remained standing
by till I saw my trunk taken off and set to one side, when I proceeded
to the hotel.

I expected to have a porter return to the depot and assist me in
carrying it to the hotel, but on reaching there found a cheap
fourth-rate house, with not less than fifty or sixty drunken woodsmen,
and at once decided that the jewelry would be safer at the depot than
there, and retired without it.

The next morning I presented my check and was informed that there was no
piece of baggage there with a corresponding number. I told the
baggage-man that I saw him take it off and set it on the platform.

He was sure he had never seen it, and at once[Pg 556] accompanied me to
Brainerd, where the general baggage-agent’s report showed that the trunk
had been reported taken off at Aiken; the agent at this place then
produced the duplicate to my check, and stated that the conductor of the
train on which I had come from Duluth had found it on the rear end of
the hind car, just after leaving Aiken. The superintendent took
immediate steps towards having the matter ferreted out, and very kindly
gave me a pass over the road.

It was plain to be seen that the baggage-man at Aiken had gathered up
some other pieces of baggage and carried them inside, and left mine on
the outside, when a couple of men picked it up, and putting it on the
rear end of the car, rode a mile or two upgrade to an Indian camp, where
they threw it off and then jumped off themselves. These men were traced
to the head of the Mississippi River, where they took a canoe and
started down stream. Nothing more was ever heard of them or the goods;
and as the State laws made the Railroad Company responsible for wearing
apparel only, I could collect nothing from them. But as the trunk
happened to contain a small compartment in which I carried my shirts,
underwear, handkerchiefs, socks, etc., I made Mr.[Pg 557] Superintendent smile,
a few weeks later, when I handed in my bill for them, at Fargo. He
laughed, and said he had never happened to meet a man before who wore
such high-priced shirts and underwear.

After giving up my trunk and goods as lost, I looked over my stock of
jewelry in the case; and although it was badly in need of a few extras
to make it complete, I considered it enough to commence with again, and
started out to see what I could do.

A COLLAPSE NEAR BRAINERD, MINN.—PAGE 557

I was unable to do anything at Brainerd, and concluded to visit smaller
towns, where my little stock would look larger. I took an evening train,
arriving at a small hamlet a few miles west, in time to work the town
that evening. But fate seemed to be against me, for I couldn’t make a
sale, and to make time I would have to get up the next morning about
half past two to get a local freight train going west.

The landlord called me, and after making my toilet I started for the
depot, a few rods distant across the track. He had cautioned me about
the fast express, which would be due in a few minutes going west, and
which did not stop there, but passed through at lightning speed.[Pg 558] On
passing out I discovered that a terrible snow and wind storm was raging,
and with much difficulty found my way towards the depot. Just as I was
crossing the Railroad track the lock on my case gave way and the side
lid fell down, and the top cover to which the handle was fastened raised
up, letting every tray of jewelry fall in a heap in the middle of the
track. I stopped to pick it up, but at that instant heard the engine
whistle close by, and had no sooner gained a foothold on the platform of
the depot than the engine came dashing along, with its bright
head-light, and the sparks flying from it in all directions, and the
steam whistle blowing and screeching like a demon, and struck my pile of
trays and jewelry and sent them skyward and entirely out of existence.

A million things ran through my mind in an instant, but I think about
the first I thought of was the “Incomprehensible.”

I saw the utter foolishness of trying to find any of the jewelry, as the
storm was raging furiously; besides, it was long before daylight. But I
decided to return to the hotel and remain till morning.

When I walked into the office with my sample[Pg 561] case still in the shape
as when it “busted,” the landlord gazed at me a moment, and asked what
in thunder I’d been doing with my jewelry. I explained, and he said he
supposed the jewelry, trays and all were still flying through the air,
and if the storm kept up they probably would never stop.

His idea was about correct, I think. At any rate I never saw one
dollar’s worth of my goods afterwards. Of course the heavy fall of snow
would very soon cover it up any how, but it is very doubtful if any of
it was ever found any where in the vicinity of the depot.

The next day after satisfying myself that my stock of jewelry had
vanished and that I was again “busted,” I took the train for Brainerd,
where I once more resorted to selling furniture polish.

While at this town I called at a house, rang the door bell and was
admitted by a person whom I at once recognized as an old school teacher
who had taught our district school at Galetown Corners years before. As
he did not recognize me I thought I would have a little fun with him,
and after introducing my polish, I produced a small book containing the
names of my patrons at Brainerd, and said:

[Pg 562]

“Mister, I have here the names of those who have been buying, which I
will read, to show you that it is an article of value and one that is
appreciated by almost every housekeeper.”

So saying I began to read off the names of people living in the old
Galetown school-district, such as Mrs. M. Keefer, Mrs. John Bartlett,
Mrs. Curt Dirlam, Mrs. R. E. Betts, Mrs. Alfred Hutchinson, Mrs. James
Drown, Mrs. John Lefever, Mrs. Dave Ramsey, Mrs. Sidney Tuck, Mrs. Calif
Luce, Mrs. Samuel Chapin, Mrs.——

“Great Scott! Do all those people live in this town?”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Why not? Cæsar-ation! I used to teach school in Ohio. In a neighborhood
which contained the sir names, given names, initials and all, of every
person you have mentioned.”

I slipped the book into my pocket and told him I could not help that,
and then began to show the polish to him and the lady of the house. He
was too much excited to give any attention to it, but as he was only a
visitor, that did not signify much. He soon asked me to read those names
over again. When I had finished he inquired of his hostess if she knew
any of those people.[Pg 563] She said no, but as she had not lived there long
she would not be likely to know them. He became more excited than ever,
and putting on his overcoat and hat declared his intention of calling on
some of them.

Then I said to him:

“Well, this Mr. Keefer, who lives over here on the back street has a
step-son by the name of Johnston. Perry, I believe, is his given name.”

“Yes sir, yes sir, that’s right. He was a red-headed lad and came to
school to me. Say, show me where they live.”

“And,” I remarked, “another name I remember; the son of one of these
families is Willard.”

“Was it Willard Luce?” he asked.

“That’s it?”

“My ——, is it possible all those families have moved here?”

I then said:

“Do I look any like that Perry Johnston?”

He looked me over carefully and said he believed I did.

I then explained that I had recognized him at first sight and decided to
have a little sport with him. After a short visit I went on my way
rejoicing.

[Pg 564]

After one week’s time I left Brainerd for Fargo, Dakota, where I had
requested my mail to be sent. I had cleared thirty-three dollars over
and above expenses during that time. After sending ten of it home to my
wife I reached Fargo with twenty-three dollars, having made the trip
with my pass. Here I received a letter from the wholesaler expressing
sympathy for my loss, and saying he had sent me a large package of goods
on sixty days’ time.

After spending two dollars for a few necessaries which left me just
twenty-one dollars, I accompanied three traveling men to the theatre,
one of whom had a pass admitting himself and friends to a box. During
the evening this gentleman mentioned the fact that an actress who would
shortly sing was an old school-mate of his, and as she had had all her
wardrobe burnt at Bismarck, a few days before, suggested that we each
throw a silver dollar on the stage when she appeared. We all agreed.

I had forgotten that I had that day accommodated a gentleman by giving
him four five-dollar bills for a twenty-dollar gold piece, and when the
time came I carelessly reached my hand in my pocket and taking out the
gold piece, threw it on[Pg 565] the stage and was unconscious of what I had
done till I saw it bound and heard it ring and received a bow of
recognition and thanks from the actress. It was too late, however, and
managing to instantly recover myself from the shock of having fully
realized the awful fact that I was again totally collapsed, I shook
hands with my three friends who were very enthusiastic over my
generosity, remarking that they hadn’t the slightest idea of my
intention of giving so much. I told them I didn’t believe in doing
things by halves.

At the hotel the next day I was introduced to the pretty actress who
thanked me for my generous gift, and declared that success was sure to
reward men of such liberal principles, but added that she had always
noticed, however, that those who gave the most freely were those who had
the most to give, or at any rate, those who experienced but little
difficulty in making money fast.

I had but little to say in reply to her assertion, but took special
pains to jingle the last three twenty-five cent pieces I had in my
pocket, and assumed an air of independence sufficient, no doubt, to
convince her that I possessed my share of this world’s goods.

[Pg 566]

When I took the train at Brainerd for Fargo, who should make his
appearance as conductor but my old friend Johnny, whom the reader will
remember as being my partner and companion at the neat, nice, tidy
boarding-house while selling auction goods.

The moment I discovered his identity I pulled my hat down over my eyes
and turned up my coat collar so he would not recognize me, and as he
approached me I began talking very loud as though in conversation with
some one near me and said: “Well sir, the place where I stopped was a
neat, nice, clean, tidy boarding-house, the children were well-bred, the
old lady a good conversationalist, a mighty good cook, and everything
was so home-like.”

Johnny seemed almost paralyzed on hearing these remarks and instantly
began to scrutinize me very closely, but as I had raised quite a
moustache and goatee since our dissolution, he failed to recognize me.
He then demanded my ticket, and without turning my face towards him, but
rather turning it from him I declared I had no ticket. He asked where I
was going. I answered: “Well sir, I am going to Fargo, and if I can
prevail upon my wife to sell another[Pg 567] house and lot and send me the
money, I am going to either start a stave and barrel factory, or go into
the auction business.”

At this he began laughing, and taking hold of my hat and raising it from
my head, said: “Well you infernal vender of the Incomprehensible
compound, double-distilled furniture and piano luster, what are you
giving me? Produce your ticket, or off you go, bag and baggage.”

We had a nice visit, and when I related my experience of a few days
before about the stolen trunk and the final collapse, he said he had
heard all about it, but was surprised to hear that I was the unfortunate
loser. He frankly confessed that the last house and lot had been sold
and the money spent before he had settled down to business. The last I
heard of him he was still holding his position and working hard for a
promotion.

A few days after my arrival at Fargo, I received over two hundred
dollars’ worth of goods from Chicago, which came at a very opportune
time.

The few days I had to wait there I put in with the “Incomprehensible,”
with good results.

The holiday trade was now approaching and I[Pg 568] made money fast. I again
adopted my old tactics of opening up to every one, from the hotel porter
and chambermaids to the merchant of the highest standing; and I never
lost an hour or even a minute when there was the slightest prospect for
making a sale. The result was, that after closing out my stock just
before Christmas and returning to Chicago, I brought back over nine
hundred dollars, which left me six hundred clear after paying the
wholesale house the last bill of two hundred and an old account of one
hundred dollars.

A few weeks after my arrival in Chicago, I made over six hundred dollars
in one day in a way that will perhaps be worth relating. An old
acquaintance of mine who was in the auction business was in the city
buying goods. I accompanied him to a large wholesale house to buy
notions, and while picking out the stock, a messenger-boy delivered a
telegram to the manager of that department. After reading it he said to
us that it conveyed the information that the manufacturers of cheap
shears had formed a combination and had advanced the price nearly one
half. I excused myself immediately and started on the run to the
different wholesale[Pg 569] houses with which I had previously dealt, and
bought all the shears they had at the old prices, and after making a
payment down took a receipt as payment on a certain number of dozen
shears at a certain price to be delivered on a certain day. I made the
rounds as rapidly as possible and bought out several dealers before they
had received their telegrams. The next day all I had to do was to call
at their stores and sell out to them at the advanced price, receiving my
money back and a good round profit besides.

It was my intention to start out on the road again as soon as the dull
season after the holidays was over; but I began having chills and fever
and night sweats which very soon reduced me several pounds in weight,
and I could plainly see was fast reducing my physical strength.

My wife and I then visited her parents at Bronson, Michigan.

And now I am obliged to make mention of one fact that heretofore has not
been necessary to speak of. My domestic life had not proved a success,
and a separation occurred on the nineteenth of March, 1881, my wife
remaining with her parents. Our little boy had been living with my
mother at Clyde, during the preceding two[Pg 570] years, where we mutually
agreed to have him remain; and he has continued to reside there up to
the present time. In due course of time the Courts annulled the
marriage.

I reached Clyde on the evening of the day of our final separation, and
was so ill that my physical system seemed about prostrated.

Our old family physician, Dr. Brown, was at that time down sick, and I
chanced to call on a physician who had recently moved there. He seemed
much pleased with my condition, and after a thorough examination,
informed me that one of my lungs was entirely destroyed and the other
one almost gone; and if I had good luck I might live a couple of years.

When I went home and reported my bright prospects my mother began to
cry, and said she always thought I would die with consumption. Mr.
Keefer looked sad and solemn, and said: “It does beat the devil.”

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[Pg 571]